Look at Me! Look at Me!

Look at me!  Look at me!  Look at me...*

That is my life.  Look at me.  Oh, and could you like me too?  And, even better, could you give me a job?

I go to E.P.A.s.  Sometimes I am seen, sometimes I am not. 
(Merrily We Roll Along) 
Sometimes there is just one person behind the table.
(With So Little to be Sure of)

We have all been at those auditions where the young intern behind the table seems to be examining her navel, rather than looking at us:

Lady, look at me, look at me miss, oh
Look at me, please, oh
Favor me, favor me with your glance.*

Or it could be a an important producer examining his navel:

Say, Mister producer,  
I'm talkin' to you, sir.^

That does not mean these auditions are a waste of time.  I hear so many actors complaining when they feel that the important people are not in the room.  Or feeling that the important people behind the table are not paying attention.  Of course, there are horror stories about the casting director texting, etc., etc.  BUT, we have to show up.  We have to keep going.  There are audience members who text during Broadway shows.  Stop being bitter and complaining and consider it part of your training.

Nowadays, though,it is not enough just to show up.  It is expected that actors have an online presence. A website, a reel (still a work in progress for me), Facebook, twitter and so on.  Now I know very successful actors who have none of this.  I was excited when I received my first IMDB credit (thanks to The Austin Pendleton Project) and then went to add my photo to the page.  I was told I needed to pay an annual fee for that privilege (same goes for adding bio, trivia, etc.) Meryl Streep does not have to pay to upload her headshot and resume on IMDB (I'm assuming!)  Not Miss Streep's fault, of course!  For the record, I love her.

And therein lies one of the major problems.  Emerging artists are the ones who really need the help: managers and agents to sell them because this is the point in the career where that stuff is harder.  I am guessing Judi Dench does not have a website and is not doing student films to get stuff for her reel.  She does not have to pay for an event at the Network or One on One to meet a casting director.  Nor should she have to!  She is Judi Dench.  Goddess.

But we do.  And I do.  

What do you, what do you see off 
There in those trees, oh
Won't you give, won't you give me a chance? *

Again, what's the use of complaining about the person behind the table looking out of the window?  There is little we can do.  And we also have to trust that they know.  Sit on the other side of the table if you ever have the chance.  It's a revelation.  We have to embrace the way the business is now and do what we can.  No one is going to discover us sitting in a small cafe in Greenwich village.  There are all these wonderful showbiz stories of being discovered on Youtube etc. (Telsey and Co. have even started a department especially for looking at YouTube videos).  I have not sent a video to Telsey yet.  Maybe I'll be satisfied with one of them in another 10 years or so.  We all know someone who got a big break.  Who got lucky (although for most, there is hard work in the background somewhere  -  I prefer not to focus on the ones who are pure luck and not talent).  And, of course, I dream of someone seeing my talent without me actually having to DO anything (certainly not the self-promotion stuff).

Say, Mr. Producer,
Some girls get the breaks.
Just give me my cue, sir.
I've got what it takes. ^
(lyric appears in music book "All Sondheim: Volume 1" (the yellow book), but I have yet to see or hear it anywhere else.  I like it!)

I have been told over and over again that I've got what it takes.  It is not enough.  I made some half-baked attempts at self-promotion.  Even posing for a headshot is painful for me.  And then I took a life-changing class with Heidi Marshall.  Not only is she a casting director and director, she is the most actor friendly teacher I have met.  She tweets, she posts casting notices, she has a facebook page for actor headshots and websites to help us be seen, she recommends actors to other casting directors, she understands the fragile egos we have, she blogs.

In many ways I have extra struggles being an immigrant.  I realise, though, how lucky I am that I was forced to delve into the world of self-promotion, like it or not.  I do not like it.


Say, Mister producer,  
I'm talkin' to you, sir.
I don't need a lot,
Only what I got,
Plus a tube of grease-paint and a follow spot! ^

...plus a twitter account, a facebook page, a profile on NY Castings, actors access, YouTube, a website, a reel (still waiting for more footage!), IMDB...

Paul Russell just wrote about the whole thing in this week's Backstage:


"How to Audition and Get Cast in Your Sleep"  Although I still got a lot of work to do and all the online media robs me of my sleep  -  I still love the article, Mr. Russell!)


So here I go on the self-promotion bandwagon.  Website, facebook actress page, postcards, twitter (which, as my brother - who has still to write my bio for IMDB because I think he'll do a better job than I can - points out, I'm not much cop at).  I've got work to do.  But I'm trying.

(See - crappy cell phone shot of new postcards from Twitter: my brother is right!)

I've been told I should have been born in a different era.  Born in another decade, I would be working more.  But I was born when I was born.  I am Polly McKie, runt of the litter and I've got what it takes:

Look at me.

www.pollymckie.com

* "Ah Miss" from "Sweeney Todd". Stephen Sondheim. 
^ "Broadway Baby" from "Follies". Stephen Sondheim.

Learn How to Laugh

When the winds are blowing.

That's the time to smile.

Learn how to laugh.

Learn how to love.

Learn how to live.

That's my style. *

Last weekend I saw a woman fall flat on her face as she entered the stage. It was clearly not on purpose (I know the play and the actors). Without skipping a beat, she picked herself up and carried on. Whatever was going on, it worked. She looked scared, flustered, frustrated but all as the character. One of the greatest pieces of advice I received from Austin Pendleton is to make your problem as an actor the character's problem. I have used that advice over and over again. And this actress did exactly that. On leaving the theatre, many people were discussing the fall and the consensus was that it was part of the play and that it was brilliant!

I believe in making mistakes. It seems trite to say that mistakes are how we learn. Of course we learn from mistakes, but there is more to it than that in acting. We know our lines and we know what is going to happen and what the other actors are going to say. But the trick is to keep that fresh. In real life we don't know what the other person is going to say or what we are going to say. And we want to be real in our acting. One of my favourite lines in “Friends” is when Phoebe acts as Joey's agent and gives him the honest feedback from his auditions: “They didn't believe you as a real human being”. We can critique acting with all sorts of fancy ideas and analysis, but the bottom line is that we want to see real people, real life. We want to feel something. And if the actors are not believable as real human beings, no matter how skilled they are, it will not work.


When the rent is owing,
What's the use of tears?
I'd rather laugh.
I'd rather love.
I'd rather live
In arrears. *

The whole special skill of being able to cry on cue is something I have never mastered. I do not wish to take away from the actors who can. Many directors ask for it. But I can't. And I would argue that it is not always what shows the truth. There is no right or wrong reaction. When my grandpa died, my mother came into the kitchen to tell us and my sister burst out laughing. As actors and as human beings, we should not be afraid of that. Of letting the natural reactions move in on us. Hearing the words and saying them for the first time. Otherwise, we are just robots saying lines. Anyone can learn lines. (Well, most people can.) We must be wary of saying “I always behave in this way when such and such happens.” There is no always. Every time is different and if we are not open to that, the acting becomes fake and stagnant. We cannot plan or predict our reactions in life so why should we on stage or on screen. Being able to cry on cue is a gift, but it does not magically mean good acting. Austin Pendleton (oh dear, I've mentioned him twice in this blog and I'm worried he'll get a big head!) often tells wonderful stories and one quotation that sticks with me he attributes to one of his acting teachers, Bobby Lewis:

“If crying were acting, my Aunt Rivka would be Duse”

Click on photo above to play the outtake clip

I have recently been working more and more on film and learning so many new things. But the reality is that the training is essentially the same. Focus on an objective and on the other person. And be willing to make mistakes! So often I see it (and have been guilty of it myself): trying to cry. As if that will be an impressive place. The reality is that trying not to cry is much more effective and true. The wonderful Heidi Marshall, another favourite teacher of mine, worked with me on this. So many times I have been in her class or chatting to her and she'll say something wonderful and I say “Oh, Austin says that too.” And vice versa. They both teach about what is real. And they both make me laugh. They've been known to make me cry too. But whatever the reaction is, it is real. If we are not taking in what the other actor is giving us, what are we doing? And that can never be the same. Nor should it be. Working with Heidi, I embraced my mistakes. It gives one a sense of freedom and being open and ready for anything. I make mistakes all the time. Sometimes I cry, but more often than not I laugh. And I'm learning all the while.


* "Live, Laugh, Love" from "Follies". Stephen Sondheim.