Wait

Signing up at Actors' Equity

Easy now.

Hush, love, hush.
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush.

Wait.*

This week, I went to the Equity Membership department and signed myself up!  To say I have been waiting and hoping to get my Equity card for a while now is an understatement.  It does not come easy.  And nor should it.

Posing!

Before I went, my friend Toni Stanton (an Equity business rep) was so excited for me and wanted to meet me and come with me to see me make it official.  I met her at her office and we went down to the membership department together and the lovely John Fasulo (National Director of Membership) came out to congratulate me.

Toni and I were in a short play in a festival off-off Broadway years ago when I first moved here. I first met John at an E.M.C. (Equity Membership Candidate) meeting and he was so informative and supportive. I've kept in touch with both of them over the years.

They both know, in depth, (as does anyone who will listen!) about my struggles with immigration and Equity.  The first thing Toni said to me was "You got your Green card and five minutes later you're getting your Equity card!"

In many respects it was relatively fast.  Just a few months. But in reality, it has been seven years of hard work in the making.

I gave up my full time teaching job in 2008 (I had been a high school drama teacher for eleven years). I thought I would be married with children but God had another plan for me.

Giving up and moving to another country and a city like New York was terrifying and wonderful. I still pinch myself when I walk home and pass Grand Central and The Chrysler Building.

Job hunting when Backstage was still in newspaper form.

Hush, love, hush.

Think it through.

Once it bubbles, 

Then what's to do?

Watch it close.

Let it brew.

Wait.

I've been thinking, flowers--

Maybe daisies--

To brighten up the room.

Don't you think some flowers,

Pretty daisies,

Might relieve the gloom?

Ah, wait, love, wait.

I came on an F1 student visa in 2008 (to study at HB Studio) not sure if this would just be a gap year for a 33 year old in crisis, but quickly knew I wanted to stay and WORK. HB was where I first met Austin Pendleton and took his class. He does not believe that I sat quietly at the back during that first semester. I sat and listened and learned. During my second year of full-time study, I starting pounding the pavement. Knowing nothing! Excited and scared. I went to my first EPA, thanks to encouragement from the wonderful Amanda Quaid.

I first met Judy Bowman (casting director) in May 2012 at The Network. But it is not as simple as meeting once: you have to build a relationship and keep auditioning.

There are so many ways. EPAs, ECCs, appointment auditions, pay to plays, submissions, Stagelighter, and so on. Training, auditions, keeping in touch, working, working, working. It is a long journey with many ups and downs.  There are people who succeed without doing any of it. And there are people who fail while trying to do it all.

I have learned that we are never auditioning for one person or one job. This business seems so big but it's actually very small and people talk. I've been submitting to The Mint and met Jonathan Bank (Artistic Director) a few times and he is a delight. I also went to see plays there and was always impressed by them.  I was in callbacks in the past for The Mint for a role I really wanted. It was tough not to get it, but it was not for me. This is the role that has my name on it.

"A Day by the Sea"

But if I had not built the relationships over the years, I am not sure I would even have been able to get in the room.

I don't think of myself as a patient person. I am genuinely happy for friends' success but, of course, there is an element of jealousy when seeing others succeed.  It has not been easy and no one should think that it is. We have chosen a tough business and there are obstacles everywhere. The immigration obstacle was huge but I am grateful. It made me tougher, stronger and more determined. I have found ways to keep myself motivated and passionate. Having to turn down Equity work in the past and deal with rejection has made this all the sweeter. As my mother often tells me: Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye!

My first Equity Card

with Toni Stanton and John Fasulo at A.E.A.

Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly--
See, now it's past!
Soon will come.
Soon will last.
Wait.

Don't you know,
Silly man,
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan?
All good things come to 
Those who can
Wait. *

*"Wait" from "Sweeney Todd"
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.


www.pollymckie.com
www.theactorsfriend.com

Learn How to Laugh

When the winds are blowing.

That's the time to smile.

Learn how to laugh.

Learn how to love.

Learn how to live.

That's my style. *

Last weekend I saw a woman fall flat on her face as she entered the stage. It was clearly not on purpose (I know the play and the actors). Without skipping a beat, she picked herself up and carried on. Whatever was going on, it worked. She looked scared, flustered, frustrated but all as the character. One of the greatest pieces of advice I received from Austin Pendleton is to make your problem as an actor the character's problem. I have used that advice over and over again. And this actress did exactly that. On leaving the theatre, many people were discussing the fall and the consensus was that it was part of the play and that it was brilliant!

I believe in making mistakes. It seems trite to say that mistakes are how we learn. Of course we learn from mistakes, but there is more to it than that in acting. We know our lines and we know what is going to happen and what the other actors are going to say. But the trick is to keep that fresh. In real life we don't know what the other person is going to say or what we are going to say. And we want to be real in our acting. One of my favourite lines in “Friends” is when Phoebe acts as Joey's agent and gives him the honest feedback from his auditions: “They didn't believe you as a real human being”. We can critique acting with all sorts of fancy ideas and analysis, but the bottom line is that we want to see real people, real life. We want to feel something. And if the actors are not believable as real human beings, no matter how skilled they are, it will not work.


When the rent is owing,
What's the use of tears?
I'd rather laugh.
I'd rather love.
I'd rather live
In arrears. *

The whole special skill of being able to cry on cue is something I have never mastered. I do not wish to take away from the actors who can. Many directors ask for it. But I can't. And I would argue that it is not always what shows the truth. There is no right or wrong reaction. When my grandpa died, my mother came into the kitchen to tell us and my sister burst out laughing. As actors and as human beings, we should not be afraid of that. Of letting the natural reactions move in on us. Hearing the words and saying them for the first time. Otherwise, we are just robots saying lines. Anyone can learn lines. (Well, most people can.) We must be wary of saying “I always behave in this way when such and such happens.” There is no always. Every time is different and if we are not open to that, the acting becomes fake and stagnant. We cannot plan or predict our reactions in life so why should we on stage or on screen. Being able to cry on cue is a gift, but it does not magically mean good acting. Austin Pendleton (oh dear, I've mentioned him twice in this blog and I'm worried he'll get a big head!) often tells wonderful stories and one quotation that sticks with me he attributes to one of his acting teachers, Bobby Lewis:

“If crying were acting, my Aunt Rivka would be Duse”

Click on photo above to play the outtake clip

I have recently been working more and more on film and learning so many new things. But the reality is that the training is essentially the same. Focus on an objective and on the other person. And be willing to make mistakes! So often I see it (and have been guilty of it myself): trying to cry. As if that will be an impressive place. The reality is that trying not to cry is much more effective and true. The wonderful Heidi Marshall, another favourite teacher of mine, worked with me on this. So many times I have been in her class or chatting to her and she'll say something wonderful and I say “Oh, Austin says that too.” And vice versa. They both teach about what is real. And they both make me laugh. They've been known to make me cry too. But whatever the reaction is, it is real. If we are not taking in what the other actor is giving us, what are we doing? And that can never be the same. Nor should it be. Working with Heidi, I embraced my mistakes. It gives one a sense of freedom and being open and ready for anything. I make mistakes all the time. Sometimes I cry, but more often than not I laugh. And I'm learning all the while.


* "Live, Laugh, Love" from "Follies". Stephen Sondheim.