Wait

Signing up at Actors' Equity

Easy now.

Hush, love, hush.
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush.

Wait.*

This week, I went to the Equity Membership department and signed myself up!  To say I have been waiting and hoping to get my Equity card for a while now is an understatement.  It does not come easy.  And nor should it.

Posing!

Before I went, my friend Toni Stanton (an Equity business rep) was so excited for me and wanted to meet me and come with me to see me make it official.  I met her at her office and we went down to the membership department together and the lovely John Fasulo (National Director of Membership) came out to congratulate me.

Toni and I were in a short play in a festival off-off Broadway years ago when I first moved here. I first met John at an E.M.C. (Equity Membership Candidate) meeting and he was so informative and supportive. I've kept in touch with both of them over the years.

They both know, in depth, (as does anyone who will listen!) about my struggles with immigration and Equity.  The first thing Toni said to me was "You got your Green card and five minutes later you're getting your Equity card!"

In many respects it was relatively fast.  Just a few months. But in reality, it has been seven years of hard work in the making.

I gave up my full time teaching job in 2008 (I had been a high school drama teacher for eleven years). I thought I would be married with children but God had another plan for me.

Giving up and moving to another country and a city like New York was terrifying and wonderful. I still pinch myself when I walk home and pass Grand Central and The Chrysler Building.

Job hunting when Backstage was still in newspaper form.

Hush, love, hush.

Think it through.

Once it bubbles, 

Then what's to do?

Watch it close.

Let it brew.

Wait.

I've been thinking, flowers--

Maybe daisies--

To brighten up the room.

Don't you think some flowers,

Pretty daisies,

Might relieve the gloom?

Ah, wait, love, wait.

I came on an F1 student visa in 2008 (to study at HB Studio) not sure if this would just be a gap year for a 33 year old in crisis, but quickly knew I wanted to stay and WORK. HB was where I first met Austin Pendleton and took his class. He does not believe that I sat quietly at the back during that first semester. I sat and listened and learned. During my second year of full-time study, I starting pounding the pavement. Knowing nothing! Excited and scared. I went to my first EPA, thanks to encouragement from the wonderful Amanda Quaid.

I first met Judy Bowman (casting director) in May 2012 at The Network. But it is not as simple as meeting once: you have to build a relationship and keep auditioning.

There are so many ways. EPAs, ECCs, appointment auditions, pay to plays, submissions, Stagelighter, and so on. Training, auditions, keeping in touch, working, working, working. It is a long journey with many ups and downs.  There are people who succeed without doing any of it. And there are people who fail while trying to do it all.

I have learned that we are never auditioning for one person or one job. This business seems so big but it's actually very small and people talk. I've been submitting to The Mint and met Jonathan Bank (Artistic Director) a few times and he is a delight. I also went to see plays there and was always impressed by them.  I was in callbacks in the past for The Mint for a role I really wanted. It was tough not to get it, but it was not for me. This is the role that has my name on it.

"A Day by the Sea"

But if I had not built the relationships over the years, I am not sure I would even have been able to get in the room.

I don't think of myself as a patient person. I am genuinely happy for friends' success but, of course, there is an element of jealousy when seeing others succeed.  It has not been easy and no one should think that it is. We have chosen a tough business and there are obstacles everywhere. The immigration obstacle was huge but I am grateful. It made me tougher, stronger and more determined. I have found ways to keep myself motivated and passionate. Having to turn down Equity work in the past and deal with rejection has made this all the sweeter. As my mother often tells me: Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye!

My first Equity Card

with Toni Stanton and John Fasulo at A.E.A.

Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly--
See, now it's past!
Soon will come.
Soon will last.
Wait.

Don't you know,
Silly man,
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan?
All good things come to 
Those who can
Wait. *

*"Wait" from "Sweeney Todd"
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.


www.pollymckie.com
www.theactorsfriend.com

Perpetual Anticipation

Perpetual anticipation
Is good for the soul
But it's bad for 
The heart.*



This weekend I drank the bottle of fizz that my friend, Jean Ann Garrish, gave me for my birthday back in April.  I had explained to her that, in the past, I always had a bottle of champagne in my fridge so that I would be ready to celebrate but that, in recent years, I had neglected the habit.  So she gave me a bottle to remind me.  My sister and her husband drink fizz in times of trouble.  As Napoleon said "Champagne: in victory you deserve it. In defeat, you need it!"

It has been one of those weeks.  Victory and defeat.  And waiting.


It's very good for
Practicing self-control.
It's very good for
Morals, but
Bad for morale.*

Being an actor means a whole lot of waiting.  Waiting to be seen at E.P.A. (a whole different level of waiting for the non-union, as discussed in Merrily We Roll Along, and ...roll along, following dreams.); waiting for an appointment after submitting; waiting for your agent to call, waiting for a cmail (not a typo  - an actors' access reference), waiting to hear about a callback, waiting for a job offer, waiting in the wings, waiting for the next season of "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix.

This week has been a week of waiting.


Well, of course, much more than this week!  I have waited since childhood to start following my dream.  Several false starts and deciding to take the plunge in my thirties (Growing Up).


So many status updates on facebook read "I nailed my audition"  "Callback: woot, woot".  What does that even mean?  I am betting 90% of them do not book the job (not based on any scientific facts!)  Actors do not come out thinking they nailed the audition.  Or is that just me?  I ALWAYS think I could have done more, done better, done more and better.  But I do know that I did an acceptable job at this particular audition.  I did my work.  They liked me.  I rarely feel that but sometimes you just know.  And this is a role I want to play.  A job I really wanted.  

And so the waiting started. 

Perpetual anticipation's a
Delicate art:
Playing a role,
Aching to start,
Keeping control
While falling apart.

Perpetual anticipation
Is good for the soul
But it's bad for 
The heart.*

This is when my 'phone becomes an issue.  Did I miss a call?  Double checking. Triple checking.  Posting on Callback Corner on Audition Update.  Going on the subway and praying for a voicemail when you come back up out of the ground.  

Well, after four long days, the waiting was over.  I did not book the job.  At least my waiting was put to an end.  The director was lovely enough to email me and tell me how much they liked my work. That's a rare thing. When I was called back for Mrs. Brill in Mary Poppins, the call came over two months after my first audition.  Four days is nothing.  Even if it seemed like an eternity at the time.

So, that was my defeat.  That accounted for half of the bottle of fizz. 

I have been lucky enough to be in email touch with a wonderful manager.  After several emails and attempts to find time, we finally met last week.  I knew in my gut from the emails that I liked her.  And I was right.  She's even better in person!  Thank you, Kathy Olsen and Encompass Arts!

Now, I'd better go out to Sussex Wines and buy a new bottle of champagne to keep in the fridge so I am ready for the next victory.  Ready to do some more waiting...and grateful for it all.

*Perpetual Anticipation from "A Little Night Music": Stephen Sondheim, of course.

www.pollymckie.com