Growing Up, Making Choices. Ignoring All Other Voices.

First posted by Polly McKie on Thursday, April 11, 2013

When I first started blogging (all of 3 weeks ago), I thought it might be a good idea to use a theme for the titles and categories. Sondheim seemed the obvious choice. Those of you who know me understand. Maybe this is just copying Marc Cherry’s idea for his Desperate Housewives episode titles.  Maybe it is because I do not have clever enough headings of my own.  Maybe it is just because he manages to say the right thing about everything!

I’ve found myself, over the last few days, singing my own little medley of songs from “Into the Woods” (so much good stuff about growing up) and both versions of “Growing Up” from Merrily We Roll Along (Frank’s and Gussie’s: I think Sondheim wrote the latter for Louise Gold in the brilliant Leicester Haymarket production – correct me if I’m wrong, Sondheim geeks).

Anyway…

I turned 38 this week.

And my brother (the last singleton in the family, apart from me) got married.

And I turned 38.

If someone had told me ten years ago (or even 5 years ago) that I would be alone and childless at this point in my life, I think I would have been ready to slit my wrists.  But I am here and I have never been happier.  That is a trite thing to say. Happiness is so difficult to quantify, but I am pleased about my choice to be here in New York and glad that I have taken the chance I have taken. And, in fact, I am not alone and childless.  I have 4 glorious nieces and  6 handsome nephews (the joy and love without the responsibilities) and I do not feel alone at all. I feel more loved and supported now than I ever did when I was in a relationship.

I knew as a teenager that I wanted to act.  My plan was to go to drama school in London after completing my degree in Theatre and Philosophy at Glasgow University. I did not follow through and spent much of my twenties regretting that decision. I performed in plays and musicals here and there over the years but it took me more than ten years to pluck up the courage to pursue it properly.  No half measures.  I quit my job (I was a high school drama teacher), remortgaged my flat and moved to New York to study acting full time. I became that obnoxious mature student who sits at the front and does extra homework. I realise now, that if I had gone to London in my early twenties, I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes. I would have been crushed by the rejection, the brutality of this business, the whole lifestyle. I can see that now. I am blessed and grateful.

And the best part is, I am just getting to the right age to play all those juicy roles I dreamed about when I was sixteen. I wanted to be the Nurse, not Juliet.  Mrs. Lovett, not Joanna.

I’m getting older. I’m growing up.

...roll along, following dreams.

First posted by Polly McKie on Friday, March 29, 2013 

Yesterday is done.

Now there isn’t much pretty countryside on the travels of an auditioning actor pounding the New York pavements.  But traveling’s the fun!  Isn’t it?

As promised in my previous post (Merrily We Roll Along), I returned for day 3 of the E.P.A.  (Equity Principal Audition). I rose earlier, I joined the bizarre snaking line of fellow actors.  Spotted some familiar faces and waited.  And waited. Signed my name. And waited.  I had to leave so, as ever, used the wonder of Audition Update to check how things were going. Now this monitor was on the ball. And friendly.  And helpful.  She managed to get through ten E.M.C.s (Equity Membership Candidates) before lunch. Already the chances of being seen were higher than the day before.  Hope was high.  Number 11 and 12 were smiling and laughing.  We reminisced about yesterday, discussed our odds as if there were any rhyme or reason to this crazy business.

The afternoon was lovely.  My friend, Rosie Cosch who had been at another E.P.A. joined me.  Time passed quickly and happily. But, here’s the problem.  The time was passing but no more E.M.C.s were being called.  The monitor remained efficient and positive but those Equity members were coming in in dribs and drabs and taking alternate slots and we were once again, losing hope as 5 o’clock rolled around. By 5.30p.m., the monitor called it.  ”I’m so sorry, E.M.C.s won’t be seen.” It feels like she is pronouncing the time of death.  One little non equity girl who has been sitting since 7a.m. dressed and ready to impress, smiles sweetly and changes into her leggings and  picks up her rolling suitcase and begins her trek back to New Jersey.  I curse and say to my friend “Let’s go for a drink!”.

Merrily We Roll Along

First posted by Polly McKie on Tuesday, March 26, 2013 

I realise that I have not completed part 2 of the first blog, but I am impatient to write about today.  So let’s just consider this a “Merrily We Roll Along” moment and I can then work backwards and play catch up.  Sadly, it is not a clever artistic device in this case.  Just my impatience and incompetence.

Today was one day of a three day E.P.A. (Equity Principal Audition).  The theatre was casting “Gypsy”, “Les Miserables” and “Mary Poppins” and I feel I am right for Mme. Thenardier and Mrs. Brill.  I was at final callbacks for Mrs. Brill for the National Tour (this might be a flashback blog later.  Who knows?  I’m making it up as I go along.)

I went at around 9.45a.m.  I shall admit that since I became E.M.C. (Equity membership candidate), I have become a little lax about signing up at 5a.m.  We are lucky to earn the privilege of being seen ahead of non-equity and we have our own separate list.  So, for non-industry people it goes:  1.  Equity members with appointments 2. Equity alternate list (A.E.A. members who show up without an appointment and are slotted in when there is a space.)  3.  E.M.C. (me) who are slotted in after the alternate list ends.  4.  Non- Equity.
Based on experience of many E.P.A.s, I knew that when I signed up so late (after 9a.m. is late), I realised that at number 23 on the E.M.C. list, I had time and I went home.
Once home, I immediately checked my beloved Audition Update and by 10.30, they had already called 5 E.M.C. which is great and gave us all hope.  I panicked and headed straight back to Chelsea Studios.

Six hours later and they had not called number 6!  This is not anyone’s fault.  The call was well run and fair.  My heart goes out, though, to that girl who was number 6!  She did the right thing and cared about her fellow actors by posting on Audition Update.  She had more dedication than I: she was there at 7.30a.m.  So when it was clear that it was hopeless and we were dismissed, she is the one I worried about.  Not me.

I hope she and I are both seen tomorrow.  And I plan to get up and there earlier than I did today.

Now I must end this little tale of fantasy and learn from the reality of this week’s “Smash”.