Our Time

Something is stirring,

Shifting ground ?

It's just begun.

Edges are blurring

All around,

And yesterday is done.*

100 days ago (give or take a few missed days here and there), I wrote a blog (Not a Day Goes By) and started an idea for The Actor's Friend: #100daysinthelifeofanactor. I started it to help motivate my students and, of course, myself.  I have accountability groups with The Actor's Friend and I love our time together. The most important part for me is to practice what I preach.

Day1: This is where it began,
Being what we can.

Oh boy, am I glad I did it! 

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening.

Don't you know?

We're the movers and we're the shapers.

We're the names in tomorrow's papers.

Up to us, man, to show 'em ?*

For regular readers of my blog, you know that I use Sondheim lyrics as my theme. Often, I use just a few lines from a particular song but, in this case, I think I owe it to Sondheim and to us all to include it all! We all have moments of feeling down and the summer was particularly hard for me after returning from a summer stock gig. There were no auditions and it was so hard to stay positive. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I decided to be proactive.

It's our time, breathe it in:

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn coming through,

Me and you, man,

Me and you!Feel how it quivers,

On the brink ?

What?

Everything!

Gives you the shivers,

Makes you think

There's so much stuff to sing!*

And you and me,

We'll be singing it like the birds,

Me with music and you the words,

Tell 'em things they don't know!

Up to us, pal, to show 'em ?

It's our time, breathe it in:

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn, we're what's new,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you! *

I LOVE my actor friends. It is a tough business full of jealousy and competition but, with the right attitude, we can be the best support to one another. Maybe the positive American influence is getting to me, but I feel it. I feel so motivated and excited for others too.

Day 77: celebrating the life of one of my favorite teachers,
Anne Meara

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening!

Long ago

All we had was that funny feeling,

Saying someday we'd send 'em reeling,

Now it looks like we can!?

Someday just began ?

It's our heads on the block.

Give us room and start the clock.

Our time coming through,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!

Me and you!*

Day 98: When Chris Noth told me I should be on Broadway

Something is stirring,

Shifting ground ?

It's just begun.

Edges are blurring

All around,

And yesterday is done.

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening.

Don't you know?

We're the movers and we're the shapers.

We're the names in tomorrow's papers.

Up to us now to show 'em ?

It's our time, breathe it in

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn coming through,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!

Years from now,

We'll remember and we'll come back,

Buy the rooftop and hang a plaque:

This is where we began,

Being what we can.

It's our heads on the block,

Give us room and start the clock.

Our dreams coming true, 

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!*

*Our Time from "Merrily We Roll Along"

Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

www.pollymckie.com

www.theactorsfriend.com

Perpetual Anticipation

Perpetual anticipation
Is good for the soul
But it's bad for 
The heart.*



This weekend I drank the bottle of fizz that my friend, Jean Ann Garrish, gave me for my birthday back in April.  I had explained to her that, in the past, I always had a bottle of champagne in my fridge so that I would be ready to celebrate but that, in recent years, I had neglected the habit.  So she gave me a bottle to remind me.  My sister and her husband drink fizz in times of trouble.  As Napoleon said "Champagne: in victory you deserve it. In defeat, you need it!"

It has been one of those weeks.  Victory and defeat.  And waiting.


It's very good for
Practicing self-control.
It's very good for
Morals, but
Bad for morale.*

Being an actor means a whole lot of waiting.  Waiting to be seen at E.P.A. (a whole different level of waiting for the non-union, as discussed in Merrily We Roll Along, and ...roll along, following dreams.); waiting for an appointment after submitting; waiting for your agent to call, waiting for a cmail (not a typo  - an actors' access reference), waiting to hear about a callback, waiting for a job offer, waiting in the wings, waiting for the next season of "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix.

This week has been a week of waiting.


Well, of course, much more than this week!  I have waited since childhood to start following my dream.  Several false starts and deciding to take the plunge in my thirties (Growing Up).


So many status updates on facebook read "I nailed my audition"  "Callback: woot, woot".  What does that even mean?  I am betting 90% of them do not book the job (not based on any scientific facts!)  Actors do not come out thinking they nailed the audition.  Or is that just me?  I ALWAYS think I could have done more, done better, done more and better.  But I do know that I did an acceptable job at this particular audition.  I did my work.  They liked me.  I rarely feel that but sometimes you just know.  And this is a role I want to play.  A job I really wanted.  

And so the waiting started. 

Perpetual anticipation's a
Delicate art:
Playing a role,
Aching to start,
Keeping control
While falling apart.

Perpetual anticipation
Is good for the soul
But it's bad for 
The heart.*

This is when my 'phone becomes an issue.  Did I miss a call?  Double checking. Triple checking.  Posting on Callback Corner on Audition Update.  Going on the subway and praying for a voicemail when you come back up out of the ground.  

Well, after four long days, the waiting was over.  I did not book the job.  At least my waiting was put to an end.  The director was lovely enough to email me and tell me how much they liked my work. That's a rare thing. When I was called back for Mrs. Brill in Mary Poppins, the call came over two months after my first audition.  Four days is nothing.  Even if it seemed like an eternity at the time.

So, that was my defeat.  That accounted for half of the bottle of fizz. 

I have been lucky enough to be in email touch with a wonderful manager.  After several emails and attempts to find time, we finally met last week.  I knew in my gut from the emails that I liked her.  And I was right.  She's even better in person!  Thank you, Kathy Olsen and Encompass Arts!

Now, I'd better go out to Sussex Wines and buy a new bottle of champagne to keep in the fridge so I am ready for the next victory.  Ready to do some more waiting...and grateful for it all.

*Perpetual Anticipation from "A Little Night Music": Stephen Sondheim, of course.

www.pollymckie.com

...roll along, following dreams.

First posted by Polly McKie on Friday, March 29, 2013 

Yesterday is done.

Now there isn’t much pretty countryside on the travels of an auditioning actor pounding the New York pavements.  But traveling’s the fun!  Isn’t it?

As promised in my previous post (Merrily We Roll Along), I returned for day 3 of the E.P.A.  (Equity Principal Audition). I rose earlier, I joined the bizarre snaking line of fellow actors.  Spotted some familiar faces and waited.  And waited. Signed my name. And waited.  I had to leave so, as ever, used the wonder of Audition Update to check how things were going. Now this monitor was on the ball. And friendly.  And helpful.  She managed to get through ten E.M.C.s (Equity Membership Candidates) before lunch. Already the chances of being seen were higher than the day before.  Hope was high.  Number 11 and 12 were smiling and laughing.  We reminisced about yesterday, discussed our odds as if there were any rhyme or reason to this crazy business.

The afternoon was lovely.  My friend, Rosie Cosch who had been at another E.P.A. joined me.  Time passed quickly and happily. But, here’s the problem.  The time was passing but no more E.M.C.s were being called.  The monitor remained efficient and positive but those Equity members were coming in in dribs and drabs and taking alternate slots and we were once again, losing hope as 5 o’clock rolled around. By 5.30p.m., the monitor called it.  ”I’m so sorry, E.M.C.s won’t be seen.” It feels like she is pronouncing the time of death.  One little non equity girl who has been sitting since 7a.m. dressed and ready to impress, smiles sweetly and changes into her leggings and  picks up her rolling suitcase and begins her trek back to New Jersey.  I curse and say to my friend “Let’s go for a drink!”.

Merrily We Roll Along

First posted by Polly McKie on Tuesday, March 26, 2013 

I realise that I have not completed part 2 of the first blog, but I am impatient to write about today.  So let’s just consider this a “Merrily We Roll Along” moment and I can then work backwards and play catch up.  Sadly, it is not a clever artistic device in this case.  Just my impatience and incompetence.

Today was one day of a three day E.P.A. (Equity Principal Audition).  The theatre was casting “Gypsy”, “Les Miserables” and “Mary Poppins” and I feel I am right for Mme. Thenardier and Mrs. Brill.  I was at final callbacks for Mrs. Brill for the National Tour (this might be a flashback blog later.  Who knows?  I’m making it up as I go along.)

I went at around 9.45a.m.  I shall admit that since I became E.M.C. (Equity membership candidate), I have become a little lax about signing up at 5a.m.  We are lucky to earn the privilege of being seen ahead of non-equity and we have our own separate list.  So, for non-industry people it goes:  1.  Equity members with appointments 2. Equity alternate list (A.E.A. members who show up without an appointment and are slotted in when there is a space.)  3.  E.M.C. (me) who are slotted in after the alternate list ends.  4.  Non- Equity.
Based on experience of many E.P.A.s, I knew that when I signed up so late (after 9a.m. is late), I realised that at number 23 on the E.M.C. list, I had time and I went home.
Once home, I immediately checked my beloved Audition Update and by 10.30, they had already called 5 E.M.C. which is great and gave us all hope.  I panicked and headed straight back to Chelsea Studios.

Six hours later and they had not called number 6!  This is not anyone’s fault.  The call was well run and fair.  My heart goes out, though, to that girl who was number 6!  She did the right thing and cared about her fellow actors by posting on Audition Update.  She had more dedication than I: she was there at 7.30a.m.  So when it was clear that it was hopeless and we were dismissed, she is the one I worried about.  Not me.

I hope she and I are both seen tomorrow.  And I plan to get up and there earlier than I did today.

Now I must end this little tale of fantasy and learn from the reality of this week’s “Smash”.

With So Little to be Sure of

First posted by Polly McKie on Monday, March 25, 2013

With so little to be sure of, if there’s anything at all?

Why go to an E.P.A.? I am non-union: why bother? I won’t be seen: why bother? It’s the Equity required call: why bother? It’s already cast: why bother? They don’t need replacements: why bother? They are only looking for understudies or replacements: why bother?

Here’s why:

I went to my first E.P.A. (Equity Principal Audition) thanks to Amanda Quaid. She was my first speech and dialect teacher here in the U.S. (I’m thrilled to say that she has become my friend). She is a wonderful actress and knows what it is like to be a non-union actor starting out. She sent me a casting notice and showed me the A.E.A.website and casting calls. It might seem like a small thing but it was a major step for me. I see so many actors who avoid actually going and it seems to me that the main reason is fear of the unknown. It’s terrifying. But, thanks to Amanda’s persuasion, I went. I felt ill. I drank so much water, I think I might have developed a camel hump. (I was lucky that this first experience was at Telsey, so I was allowed to use the facilities.) I knew nothing. I thought everyone was staring at me and judging me and, worst of all, laughing at me. But I went. I found the monitor and I signed my name on the non-equity list. And nobody laughed. Nobody pointed. So far, so good. I sat and waited. I watched. I learned. I went from 8a.m. and hoping that I would not be seen (out of fear) to feeling devastated when I heard the announcement at about 11a.m. that they would not be seeing non-Equity. So I left with that little nugget of disappointment but skipping (not literally: that’s not a pretty sight) that I had achieved something. I showed up.

Fast forward (after many more E.P.A.s: new fears and new experiences and dealing with not being able to use the bathrooms at A.E.A.) to a snowy day in February, 2011. I forced myself out the door and went to A.E.A. There was snow lying on the ground, so I donned my lovely bright pink wellington boots and packed my shoes into my bag, careful not to squash my headshots and resumes. I trudged crosstown and sat on the wooden benches all day and used the McDonald’s facilities. At 4.30, I was invited into the lounge and was seen! Woohoo. It was fine. I did my work but I was not feeling that anything would come of it. I left and was about to go and grab that well-deserved post audition/I have been working hard all day/sitting on wooden benches since 7a.m. cocktail and I thought, “Well, I’m already out and close. Maybe I should just head to that other call at Pearl (they were seeing Equity and non but it was almost 5p.m.) and check if the call is still open.” (this is before I discovered the wonders of Audition Update) I put my pink wellies (a.k.a. rain boots) back on and walked through the snow. The place was dead. No-one in the holding room and the lights were off. I passed the actual audition room and saw the panel (the wonderful director Elliot Wasserman at New Harmony) laughing and joking behind the desk. I sneaked my head around the door and said “Are you still seeing people?”. I was told to wait outside. A couple of other actors turned up and told me they had appointments. Five minutes later, I was inside performing my monologue, then working on sides, then working on a New York dialect and a speech impediment. I had a wonderful time. I loved them straight away. It was clear the director knew what he was doing and no matter what, I felt I had achieved so much that day. I showed up.

So why go to an audition?

I booked the job and became E.M.C.    

with Claire Warden in “Lost in Yonkers” at New Harmony Theatre.