The Game

Picture the scene: Sicily, 1922. Sorry, (I've been binge watching "The Golden Girls"). I mean New York City, March 2017. I did not want to get up, let alone get dressed and go out the door. So the idea of dressing up, putting on make-up and going to an audition seemed totally impossible.

Never let a chance go by, Addie
Isn't that what Papa meant?
Now and then you miss one
But I guarantee you this one
Is a winner
I'm no longer a beginner!
Addie, take the chance
Or it disappears!
Every card you're dealt opens new frontiers–
Let's be pioneers!*


2016 was a good year for me. I worked and lots of friends and family assumed that would mean the work would just continue. This profession is rarely like that. I know friends who have worked back to back on Broadway shows and then don't work for huge gaps in between. I knew what I signed up for. And some good reviews are not a magic wand for more work with agents and casting directors knocking down your door.  

My planner

But I was ready to start 2017. Excited to   audition and work. I started the year with the wonderful Uta Hagen teacher training and felt motivated to work with fellow actors and teachers. Revisiting Uta Hagen's exercises was a joy (and a challenge, of course!) And spending time at HB Studio where I did intensive 2 year training back in 2008 was motivating and inspiring. I had my 2017 planner, my post-it notes, my highlighters. I was ready.

But being ready is not always enough. Auditions come and go. They do not just pop up at the perfect time!








I know well the agony of waiting as non-eq and trying to be seen.
Time after time. And I'm always telling my students that 
it can be worthwhile. Now we have online 
sign ups. So many members all trying to 
get on at once. You need to be on your 
computer and ready to click that button and 
watch the rainbow wheel of death at noon 
a week before the EPA. But, now that I am Equity, 
what can possibly be my excuse?

Audition board at Ripley Grier

The whole thing's nothing more than just a game
And, Addie, what I'm good at is the game
They said, "Come on in, sucker!"
Now they're sorry that I came
I tell you, kid, there's nothing like the game. 

Better than girls
Better than booze
Beating ace high
With a pair of twos
Better than snowdrifts
In your shoes
Even if 
Now and then you lose– *

We're never going to get a job if we're not in the game! And there is certainly a lot of losing. But not showing up makes sure you lose. I try so hard to practice what I preach as The Actor's Friend, but I think the fact I have the same struggles my students do helps me and them.

Here are a few things I've told myself when I don't want to show up. Maybe you'll recognize some:

• I'm tired
• My voice is not in perfect shape
• I have not done this cut (or monologue) in a while
• I do not have the "perfect" cut or monologue for this audition
• The weather
• I can't miss class
• I have no money on my Metrocard
• I might mess up
• They are not really looking for anyone
• I need to take survival work to pay the rent
• I have a case of "the mean reds"

My #100Daysinthelifeofanactor post from Friday

The thing that really matters is the game
It's more than just the winning, it's the game
That moment when the card is turned
And nothing is the same–
The only thing that matters is the game

It's more than just the money that's at stake
That's nice, but it's just icing on the cake
It's your life
Every pot
Who you are
Not what you've got
Compared to that, the world seems pretty tame
The thing that really matters is the game*






By 2p.m. on Friday, I had talked myself out of going to an EPA. I had failed to get an online appointment and told myself I would not get seen.  Then I checked Audition Update and could see it was not particularly busy. I would be seen.  what was my excuse now? I felt tired and depressed. I had not done my cut of the song I wanted to sing for a while. My throat felt scratchy. I needed to wash my hair. I lay on my couch feeling sorry for myself and angry with myself. By 2.45p.m. something switched in my brain. I thought about what I would say to my students. What would I tell my accountability group? I gave myself a good talking to, got up and ready, packed my book and headshots and headed to Ripley Grier. I got an appointment and sang my cut and had a lovely chat with the artistic director about "The Beauty Queen of Leenane". Nothing spectacular happened. No callback, no job offer. BUT I lost my case of the mean reds and walked along 8th avenue with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I showed up. I took part in the game.


What do you think
Papa would say?
"Boys," he'd say
"Seize the goddamn day!
This is your chance–" *

*"The Game" from "Wise Guys"
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.

www.pollymckie.com

www.theactorsfriend.com

Wait

Signing up at Actors' Equity

Easy now.

Hush, love, hush.
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush.

Wait.*

This week, I went to the Equity Membership department and signed myself up!  To say I have been waiting and hoping to get my Equity card for a while now is an understatement.  It does not come easy.  And nor should it.

Posing!

Before I went, my friend Toni Stanton (an Equity business rep) was so excited for me and wanted to meet me and come with me to see me make it official.  I met her at her office and we went down to the membership department together and the lovely John Fasulo (National Director of Membership) came out to congratulate me.

Toni and I were in a short play in a festival off-off Broadway years ago when I first moved here. I first met John at an E.M.C. (Equity Membership Candidate) meeting and he was so informative and supportive. I've kept in touch with both of them over the years.

They both know, in depth, (as does anyone who will listen!) about my struggles with immigration and Equity.  The first thing Toni said to me was "You got your Green card and five minutes later you're getting your Equity card!"

In many respects it was relatively fast.  Just a few months. But in reality, it has been seven years of hard work in the making.

I gave up my full time teaching job in 2008 (I had been a high school drama teacher for eleven years). I thought I would be married with children but God had another plan for me.

Giving up and moving to another country and a city like New York was terrifying and wonderful. I still pinch myself when I walk home and pass Grand Central and The Chrysler Building.

Job hunting when Backstage was still in newspaper form.

Hush, love, hush.

Think it through.

Once it bubbles, 

Then what's to do?

Watch it close.

Let it brew.

Wait.

I've been thinking, flowers--

Maybe daisies--

To brighten up the room.

Don't you think some flowers,

Pretty daisies,

Might relieve the gloom?

Ah, wait, love, wait.

I came on an F1 student visa in 2008 (to study at HB Studio) not sure if this would just be a gap year for a 33 year old in crisis, but quickly knew I wanted to stay and WORK. HB was where I first met Austin Pendleton and took his class. He does not believe that I sat quietly at the back during that first semester. I sat and listened and learned. During my second year of full-time study, I starting pounding the pavement. Knowing nothing! Excited and scared. I went to my first EPA, thanks to encouragement from the wonderful Amanda Quaid.

I first met Judy Bowman (casting director) in May 2012 at The Network. But it is not as simple as meeting once: you have to build a relationship and keep auditioning.

There are so many ways. EPAs, ECCs, appointment auditions, pay to plays, submissions, Stagelighter, and so on. Training, auditions, keeping in touch, working, working, working. It is a long journey with many ups and downs.  There are people who succeed without doing any of it. And there are people who fail while trying to do it all.

I have learned that we are never auditioning for one person or one job. This business seems so big but it's actually very small and people talk. I've been submitting to The Mint and met Jonathan Bank (Artistic Director) a few times and he is a delight. I also went to see plays there and was always impressed by them.  I was in callbacks in the past for The Mint for a role I really wanted. It was tough not to get it, but it was not for me. This is the role that has my name on it.

"A Day by the Sea"

But if I had not built the relationships over the years, I am not sure I would even have been able to get in the room.

I don't think of myself as a patient person. I am genuinely happy for friends' success but, of course, there is an element of jealousy when seeing others succeed.  It has not been easy and no one should think that it is. We have chosen a tough business and there are obstacles everywhere. The immigration obstacle was huge but I am grateful. It made me tougher, stronger and more determined. I have found ways to keep myself motivated and passionate. Having to turn down Equity work in the past and deal with rejection has made this all the sweeter. As my mother often tells me: Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye!

My first Equity Card

with Toni Stanton and John Fasulo at A.E.A.

Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly--
See, now it's past!
Soon will come.
Soon will last.
Wait.

Don't you know,
Silly man,
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan?
All good things come to 
Those who can
Wait. *

*"Wait" from "Sweeney Todd"
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.


www.pollymckie.com
www.theactorsfriend.com

Into the Woods...a conversation with a friend.

Into the woods,
It's time to go,
I hate to leave,
I have to, though.
Into the woods-
It's time, and so
I must begin my journey.*

Jean Ann Garrish has been part of my journey in New York since I arrived!  I remember auditing classes at HB Studio and hearing her sing in Helen Gallagher's class.  I was blown away and wanted to know her.

Since then, we have taken class together and become friends and colleagues.

The Actor's Friend (A.F.): When do you first get involved in the business?

Jean Ann Garrish (JAG): I got my first professional job in the industry right after I graduated college.

A.F.  What are you working on now?

JAG: I'm currently working with my editor on a comedic mockumentary web series that I wrote, directed and acted in. We'll be releasing the first episode in April on YouTube and Vimeo.

Trailer for "Composing Life":

I'm also getting ready to perform, with my band RED WINE + WHISKEY, at a benefit for the Drama Bookshop at 54 Below; as well as our album release concert at Rockwood Music Hall in May.  

A.F.  What classes have you taken with The Actor's Friend and how do you think they have helped you? 

JAG: I've taken some privates with Polly; and I'm a Super Trouper (a member of her accountability group). I'm also taking her #100daysinthelifeofanactor challenge. 

The way is clear,
The light is good,
I have no fear,
Nor no one should.
The woods are just trees,
The trees are just wood.

Into the woods
And down the dell,
The path is straight,
I know it well.
Into the woods,
And who can tell
What's waiting on the journey? *

A.F. How does being in the accountability group motivate you?

JAG: I hate to say it, but sometimes we're more accountable to other people than we are to ourselves. I know that if someone else is depending on me, I'll do everything in my power to not let them down. That's what accountability does for me. I don't want to go to the meeting and not have my homework done. If I was left to do things on my own, as the ultimate procrastinator, I'd get them done...eventually. Now, I'm right on top of what I want to do, and what I should do for my career.

Into the woods-
You have to grope,
But that's the way
You learn to cope.
Into the woods
To find there's hope
Of getting through the journey.*

A.F.   What are your plans and goals for the future?

JAG:  Ultimately, I'd like a career where I can work on both my own projects, as well as outside ones. I want to create projects and work on things that mean something to me while reaching an audience where those things will  hopefully mean something to them.

*Into the Woods

Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

www.pollymckie.com

www.theactorsfriend.com

Someone in a Tree (The Room Where it Happens)

I have many actor friends who have been in the business for years.  They tell some great stories about what it used to be like. There were fewer people out there clambering for the same jobs. One friend with Broadway credits talks with fondness about popping into her agent's office and looking through the breakdowns while they enjoyed a glass of scotch!

I was good at climbing trees 
I was younger then 

I saw everything! 

Where they came and where they went 

I was part of the event.

I was someone in a tree!

I was younger then!*

I'm certainly no spring chicken but I came into the business later in life and that, combined with immigration challenges made it harder for me, which as a result made me more determined to do what I could to get in that room.

If I weren't, who's to say

Things would happen here the way

That they happened here?

I was there then.

I am here still.*

"The Room Where it Happens" from "Hamilton"
Music and Lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda**

A new year always brings fresh hope, resolutions and commitments to make it a good one. I was lucky enough to return from Scotland to several great cmails and auditions. In fact, 4 days after I got back to New York, I had 3 auditions in one day. Lucky, yes. But also this is not something that happens overnight.

It's the fragment, not the day.

It's the pebble, not the stream.

It's the ripple, not the sea.

Not the building but the beam,

Not the garden but the stone,

Not the treaty house,

Someone in a tree.

I'm a fragment of the day.*

One audition was a Cmail via Actors' Access from a Casting Director for a job neither my manager nor I had even submitted me for. Why? Because she knows and remembers me and my work from several meetings. This takes WORK on your part.(KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU) Consistency and commitment. If you want to OPEN DOORS, you need to knock on them several times.

The other 2 were the result of knowing HOW to submit to get to the top of the list (S.O.S. SMARTER ONLINE SUBMISSIONS) There are certain tips and tricks that are basically common sense! Casting Directors are busy and you can do them a huge favor by saving them time and NOT wasting their time. You can read more about these tips in GETTING IT TOGETHER IS THE WHOLE TRICK.

It's the fragment, not the day.

It's the pebble, not the stream.

It's the ripple, not the sea

That is happening.

Not the building but the beam,

Not the garden but the stone,

Only cups of tea

And history

And someone in a tree.*

*"Someone in a Tree" from "Pacific Overtures"

Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

** For regular readers of my blog, you know that I always use Sondheim lyrics. Here I also quote the brilliant Lin-Manuel Miranda. Sondheim has mentored him through "Hamilton" and "The Room Where it Happens" is also a nod to "Someone in a Tree".

www.pollymckie.com

www.theactorsfriend.com

Our Time

Something is stirring,

Shifting ground ?

It's just begun.

Edges are blurring

All around,

And yesterday is done.*

100 days ago (give or take a few missed days here and there), I wrote a blog (Not a Day Goes By) and started an idea for The Actor's Friend: #100daysinthelifeofanactor. I started it to help motivate my students and, of course, myself.  I have accountability groups with The Actor's Friend and I love our time together. The most important part for me is to practice what I preach.

Day1: This is where it began,
Being what we can.

Oh boy, am I glad I did it! 

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening.

Don't you know?

We're the movers and we're the shapers.

We're the names in tomorrow's papers.

Up to us, man, to show 'em ?*

For regular readers of my blog, you know that I use Sondheim lyrics as my theme. Often, I use just a few lines from a particular song but, in this case, I think I owe it to Sondheim and to us all to include it all! We all have moments of feeling down and the summer was particularly hard for me after returning from a summer stock gig. There were no auditions and it was so hard to stay positive. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I decided to be proactive.

It's our time, breathe it in:

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn coming through,

Me and you, man,

Me and you!Feel how it quivers,

On the brink ?

What?

Everything!

Gives you the shivers,

Makes you think

There's so much stuff to sing!*

And you and me,

We'll be singing it like the birds,

Me with music and you the words,

Tell 'em things they don't know!

Up to us, pal, to show 'em ?

It's our time, breathe it in:

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn, we're what's new,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you! *

I LOVE my actor friends. It is a tough business full of jealousy and competition but, with the right attitude, we can be the best support to one another. Maybe the positive American influence is getting to me, but I feel it. I feel so motivated and excited for others too.

Day 77: celebrating the life of one of my favorite teachers,
Anne Meara

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening!

Long ago

All we had was that funny feeling,

Saying someday we'd send 'em reeling,

Now it looks like we can!?

Someday just began ?

It's our heads on the block.

Give us room and start the clock.

Our time coming through,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!

Me and you!*

Day 98: When Chris Noth told me I should be on Broadway

Something is stirring,

Shifting ground ?

It's just begun.

Edges are blurring

All around,

And yesterday is done.

Feel the flow,

Hear what's happening:

We're what's happening.

Don't you know?

We're the movers and we're the shapers.

We're the names in tomorrow's papers.

Up to us now to show 'em ?

It's our time, breathe it in

Worlds to change and worlds to win.

Our turn coming through,

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!

Years from now,

We'll remember and we'll come back,

Buy the rooftop and hang a plaque:

This is where we began,

Being what we can.

It's our heads on the block,

Give us room and start the clock.

Our dreams coming true, 

Me and you, pal,

Me and you!*

*Our Time from "Merrily We Roll Along"

Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

www.pollymckie.com

www.theactorsfriend.com